Are you a nobody or a somebody? Why it matters how you see yourself.

Listen to this post

Are you a nobody or a somebody?

Of course, how you answer that question is subjective. It's all in your head. Each of us have different ideas of how we identify people, and ourselves.

While the exercise is destined for subjectivity, our definition of these types of people still matters. We attach value to the definitions and they influence how we see ourselves and how we engage with others.

Who’s a nobody?

A nobody is a person who isn't important. By "important" is to say they don't rank high in society, or they aren't well known, or they don't add value to the world that's worth noticing. A nobody is disregarded while they're here and forgotten when they're gone.

Who’s a somebody?

A somebody is a person who has societal value. They've made a name for themselves and have influence. Their actions matter and people care about what they do.

The majority of us don't want to be nobodies and hope to be somebodies. The majority of us hope to make some positive difference in the world and would like to think our existence matters.

This is where what's in our head and our hearts can make or break us.

Because how you perceive yourself—as a nobody or a somebody—will determine your actions and the path of your life.

It’s not all bad being a nobody

There's good news if you're a nobody. Most people don't bother you. They're not watching your every move.

Nobodies can go to the store and spend uninterrupted hours feeling out perfectly ripe avocados. Nobodies can hit the gym and lift nothing but clipboards and no one bats an eye. Nobodies can sleep in and go as long as they want not putting on pants. Nobodies can enjoy an entire day in public and might as well be a fire hydrant or a squirrel, practically not even worth noticing.

It’s nice to be somebody

We all know the good news for somebodies.

Sombodies are connected and get invited to dinners, dances, and these things called "galas." Somebodies are noticed and everyone wants to be their friend, to buy them a drink, to shake their hand, to tell them about their business plan, and get a selfie they can post on their socials.

Somebodies have money, the kind of money that gives them the premium-level car wash. Somebodies are confident and can wear sunglasses at night. Somebodies seem to live the good life.

Bad news for nobodies

If you see yourself as a nobody, you may find yourself in a dark place. If no one cares what you think and nothing you do matters, you could be at that dangerous place where you question your existence. Anybody who has internally identified as a nobody knows this empty feeling.

The problem for somebodies

But seeing oneself as a somebody has its own burden. Somebodies have something to say and someone to be. But if they don't say it, do it, or accomplish it, they fear they may lose their somebody status. They may be in danger of becoming a nobody.

How to judge if you’re a nobody or somebody

So what are you really, a somebody or a nobody? It may excite or offend you, but you’re both.

First the bad news (or maybe the good news).

You’re a nobody

You’re a nobody. That is, if you evaluate yourself on the grand scale of everyone who’s ever existed and everyone who will ever exist.

No one knows about anyone who lived 100 years ago. I have a picture of my great grandfather in our home. What do I know about him? One thing. He was kicked in the face by a mule.

He might have lived a great life, been the best-known man in town, or had the greatest corn crop in eastern North Carolina. He could’ve been a real somebody.

Today, to almost every person who exists, even his great-grandson, he’s a nobody. Because he doesn’t have value to my life. Not that he wouldn’t have. We’re just a century apart.

Old somebodies

Let’s take it a step further. Do you know who the greatest harp player was of the 19th century? (If you do, will you be on my trivia team?) While debatable among the 4 other people who know this, Elias Alvers was the greatest harp player of the 19th century. He was very well known among people who played the harp and listened to harp music. Still, most people in the world didn’t know the dude existed. He was a somebody among some in the 1800s. He was a nobody to everyone else then and now.

New somebodies

But there are somebodies in your community and network today. It’s possible you envy them for their status. Maybe they’re a successful business owner, the mayor, the thought leader in your industry, or the family with all the stuff that does all the things. Somebodies.

But most people outside your community and industry have no idea who these people are and never will. They are nobodies to most of the world.

Even celebrities, the greatest somebodies, are mostly nobodies. They’re known for a period of time by a large group of people, only to fade into obscurity when they lose their sexiness and stature, and the world is no longer interested.

It may feel crappy to think of yourself as a nobody. But take heart. Most of the billions who have ever existed are nobodies, just like you and me.

You’re a somebody

Our identity doesn't end at being nobodies. In fact, it starts with us being somebody. Now, you're probably not a celebrity or even well-known in your community. You may not have an important job. Your trophy shelf might just be a shelf.

But to someone, you’re somebody. You’re a dad or mom, you're a wife or husband, you’re an aunt or uncle, you’re a mentor or coach, you’re a boss or co-worker, or you’re a friend. And to those someones in your life, you have immense value—more than you know.

Even if you live in a desert by yourself with your camel, you have value to your camel. And even if you don’t have a camel and no living thing knows you or depends on you, you still have value. You are still known. As the psalmist credits his Creator, “You have searched me and you know me...You knit me in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

To be a nobody and a somebody

If you find this dichotomy of nobodies and somebodies to be perplexing, if it's difficult for you to imagine them as coexisting identities, then you're wrestling with the fundamental question of who any of us are and who we'll always be.

For it's true in this tension that people may not be who they seem. Jesus said those who exalt themselves (somebodies) will be brought low (nobodies) and the low among us—the poor, the obscure, the unknown, the unimportant—would be the ones to inherit the earth. The nobodies become the somebodies. And for all eternity, those somebodies are known.

So look up, nobody, and give other nobodies your time. Look around, somebody, and know that you matter to someone. And they're counting on you.

Listen to this post